I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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