The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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