did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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