I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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