Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
