The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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