2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am puke
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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