...so i touched it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
