omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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