toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
