Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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