if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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