There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize