You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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