oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
