God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
