he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
