just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
