i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
