Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
