If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
