Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
