If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
