Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
