You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize