i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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