I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize