Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So many bounce houses so little time
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This baby is an asshole
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
