My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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