Nicole vs. Life
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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