You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
