She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
