You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
