I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
