Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
