hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
