Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
