as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
