And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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