We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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