Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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