Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
