bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
