im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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