do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
