I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize