just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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