it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
