just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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