dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
