I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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