why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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