My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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