He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
