u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
