Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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