New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm having to shit out rocks
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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