Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
