I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
whose parrot is this?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
