I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
