shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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