What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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