rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
