He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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