He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
