is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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