We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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