At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
