nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
