My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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